The episode begins with the gang, including Spike, patrolling. Spike appears to have been very much accepted by the gang and after he saves Giles from a vampire the two of them share a little joke. Willow still has the telepathic ability she used with Spike in The Gift, only now she can use it on everyone.

Since no new Slayer has been called the gang are using the Buffybot to stand in as Buffy and not arouse suspicion. Spike can't stand it and says it will never be like the real Buffy.

The following evening Dawn is at home with Spike, Willow and Tara are out. Dawn tells Spike that he doesn't have to staybut he insists. She keeps pressing him, telling him that she doesn't think she's the key anymore and that she'll be quite safe. Spike becomes sad and distant and says that there's no way he's leaving her to get hurt again. Clearly he still blames himself for everything that happened.

The Buffybot is out patrolling when she is attacked by a vampire, she is damaged and the vampire realises she'd a robot.

Willow and Tara's 'meeting' turns out to be with Xander and Anya. They have the final ingrediant for a spell to bring Buffy back. Xander is a little unsure but Willow says she won't leave Buffy to be tortured in another dimension like Angel was. Xander agrees to help with the spell.

Willow and Tara arrive home to find the damaged robot with Spike. The robot makes a reference to Spike's 'washboard abs'. This upsets him and he tells Willow to make her stop saying things like that to him. After he has left the Buffybot wonders why Spike never looks at her anymore, even when he's talking to her.

A group of demon bikers has heard that the Slayer is dead and arrive in Sunnydale causing chaos. Spike is watching Dawn while Willow and Tara are out (performing the resurrection spell which neither of them know about). He hears some noises caused by the gang and tells Dawn to stay inside while he investigates.

The demon gang disturb the ritual and force Willow and the others to run. They think the spell has failed but we see Buffy's body get reformed and she wakes up (still buried).

As the gang flee, Buffy begins to claw at her coffin, finally breaking through the lid and sending soil pouring in.

Back at the Summers house Spike is looking for weapons and finds nothing useful. He and Dawn realise that the bikers must know that Buffy is gone. Dawn starts to panic but Spike calms her down, telling her he won't let anything happen to her.

Back at the grave site Buffy climbs to the surface, covered in dirt and obviously confused.

She wanders though town, seeing the burning damage the bikers have caused and still looking very confused.

Spike manages to get a motorbike from one of the demons and he and Dawn take off (not before he makes her put on a helmet).

Buffy continues to wander until she is finally spotted by the demons who rip the Buffybot to shreds and then chase after her.

Xander, Anya, Willow and Tara are looking for Spike and Dawn when Buffy leaps over a wall and lands at their feet. At first they think it's the robot but soon realise that their spell did in fact work. Buffy doesn't seem to recognise them. The demons attack and Buffy kicks some serious ass before running off.

Spike and Dawn find the almost destroyed Buffybot and she tells Dawn she saw the other Buffy. Dawn realises Buffy is back and runs off while Spike isn't looking. By the time he realises she'd gone it's too late and he begins to frantically search for her.

Buffy sees Glory's tower and makes her way there, Dawn follows. At the top Dawn calls to Buffy and Buffy asks her if she's in hell. Dawn says no and Buffy looks like she is about to jump again. The tower is unstable and as it rocks Dawn falls. Buffy grabs her and they both reach the ground just before the tower collapses. The two sisters hug and cry.

Dawn takes Buffy home and starts to clean her up. Buffy is walking around the house in a daze noting what things have changed. Dawn does her best to fill her in on what's happened. She is about to take care of Buffy's cut hands when she hears the door slam and she goes downstairs.

It's Spike. He's still looking for Dawn and is relieved to see that she's ok. He starts to rant at her for scaring him like that but Dawn ignores him, gesturing to Buffy who is walking down the stairs. At first Spike thinks it's the Buffybot but he soon realises it's the real Buffy. After a moment of shock he notices her cut hands. Dawn says she doesn't know what happened to them and Spike says she had to claw her way out of her coffin (which he had to do himself after he was turned). Buffy confirms this.

Spike leads Buffy into the living room and tells her that he and Dawn will take care of her. He sends Dawn to get bandages and antiseptic and while she's gone he gently takes Buffy's hands and examines them.

Buffy asks him how long she was gone and he says without a moments hestitation 148 days. Buffy softly says that where she was it seemed like a lot longer.

Dawn returns with bandages and moments later the gang burst in, making a beeline for Buffy. Spike slips out of the door. After the gang make a fuss over Buffy Dawn tells them to back off. The do for a moment but then start crowding her again. Again Dawn tells them to back off and Buffy says she wants to go to sleep. Once she's gone upstairs, Willow tries to convince everyone that Buffy is fine.

As Xander and Anya, Spike is leaning against a tree outside. He looks emotionally drained. When he hears them he wipes away the tears so they won't see he's been weeping.

Seeing Spike Xander says he hopes he wont start obesessing about Buffy again now that she's back. Spike grabs him and slams him against a tree (the chip doesn't go off but no reason is given at this point). He asks Xander why they didn't tell him what they were doing. He tells Spike that he knows now. Spike is really hurt by all this. He tells Xander that he worked beside them all summer and they still didn't tell him. Xander seems almost appologetic now, seeing how hurt Spike is but he can offer no valid reason for why they didn't tell him.

Spike offers an explanation. He says that if anything had gone wrong with Buffy, Willow may have had to destroy her and that she'd known that he'd never let that happen. He'd never let her destroy any part of Buffy, no matter how small. Xander denies this, but begins to look a little doubtful. He asks Spike to deny that when he saw Buffy it was the happiest moment in his life. Spike says nothing for a moment before telling Xander that magic always has consequences. He leaves on his new bike.

It transpires that when Buffy was brought back a demon who is randomly possessing the gang. Causing them to act stangely for a few moments before returning to normal. The demon is linked to the resurrection spell and if they reverse it then Buffy will no longer be with them. Dawn tells them that they can't take Buffy away again. It would be worse than not having her back at all.

In his crypt, Spike is pacing. Clearly affected deeply by everything that has happened his punches a wall and cuts his hand. He hears the door to his crypt open and goes to investigate. It's Buffy. She notices his cut hand but he brushes it off, saying that her hands are hurt too. Buffy seems distant but this is the moment Spike never thought he'd get. He tells Buffy that he's been taking care of Dawn, just like he promised. He tells her that he blames himself for her death. Buffy says nothing. He tells her that every night since it happened he's dreamt that he saved her. Buffy still says nothing.

Willow discovers that the demon will disappear after a short time. The only way it can remain in this realm is to kill Buffy.

As Buffy heads home she doesn't see the demon behind her. It attacks but she can't fight it as she can't touch it. Willow and the gang arrive and cast a spell to make the demon solid. Buffy cuts its head off.

The next day at the magic shop Buffy tells the gang that she was in hell and thanks them for bringing her back. However, she can't look at them when she says this.

Afterwards she heads out into the back alley and sees Spike. Although it's daylight he's in the shade and is safe. He said all the mushiness was making him queasy and wasn't she missing a group hug. Buffy says she wanted to be alone and Spike tries to leave but can't because of the sun. Buffy says it's alright, he can stay. Spike asks her if she's alright and if there's anything he can do. She says no. He tells her that he's never been to hell but he knows a thing or too about torment.

Buffy tells him that she wasn't in hell, she was happy and she thinks it was heaven. Spike looks horrified as he realises just what the gang have done to her. Buffy says that being back is like being in hell, but that the gang can never know this. She walks into the sun where Spike can't follow and leaves.

Buffy begins to realise what managing a house means when she gets a leaky pipe in her basement. She tries to fix it but floods the basement instead. She calls a plumber and he presents her with a huge bill. Buffy doesn't see a problem until Willow tells her she has no money, most of what her mom had saved was spent on hospital bills.

Anya suggests Buffy start charging for saving people and she says no. Instead she goes to try and get a bank loan. The loan manager tells Buffy that the main problem with giving her a loan is that she has no income. At the moment a demon bursts through thr window and Buffy kills it. Now she has saved the manager's life she tries to re-negotiate a loan (she makes a point of saying she's not charging him for saving his life though)

It transpires that the demon is working for Jonathan, Warren (the bot maker) and Andrew (a worlock who's brother created hell hound to ruin Buffy's prom). Their orginal plan was jsut to take over Sunnydale, not to kill Buffy. The demon wants Buffy dead and the the three guys can't pacify him.

Giles returns and for the first time Buffy seems genuinley happy, as is he. However he confronts Willow about her use of powerful magic. She tells him that she's powerful now and that he shouldn't piss her off.

Buffy goes outside for some air and finds Spike waiting at the back of her house. They talk and she tells him that she finds it exhausting trying to be so happy around everyone all the time so they won't worry. Spike jokingly offers to kill them all which makes Buffy smile. She asks him why he's always around when she's miserable and he says he's not one for crowds. Buffy says she's not either. She asks him if he knows anything about finances.

The demon that attacked Buffy earlier breaks into the house, knocks out Giles and goes to attack Dawn. Buffy runs in and starts to attack. Spike jumps in to help and Buffy tells him she wants the demon in the kitchen. Together they manover the demon into the kitchen and into the basement where Buffy kills the demon whilst knee-deep in water. From the top of the stairs Spike innocently asks if she knew the basement was flooded.

As the gang try to repair the damage from the fight the phone rings. Buffy answers it and returns a few minutes later. It was Angel. He knows she is back and they are going to meet up to talk

Returning from her meeting with Angel Buffy tells the gang that it was intense but doesn't want to go into details. She says she misses school but missed re-enrollment as she was dead. Willow and Tara suggest she sit in on some of their classes and Buffy agrees.

Jonathan, Warren and Andrew are still plotting to be 'supervillains'. They have devised a series of tests to try out Buffy's powers and see where her weaknesses lie. They have filled a van full of equipment and say that they will begin the next day.

Buffy sits in on one of Willow's classes but becomes totally lost. As they leave Warren bumps into Buffy and plants something on her. Somehow they have found a way of speeding up time so that things keep jumping ahead and leaving Buffy totally confused. As time speeds up faster and faster Buffy becomes more and more disorientated. Finally she finds the small crystal Warren planted on her and the guys make it disappear, returning time to normal.

Buffy takes a job at Xander's construction site to try and earn some money. She tells Xander what happened at the school and he tells her not to mention it in front of the foreman. As Buffy starts work the men at the site aren't happy with a girl working with them. Andrew plays some pipes and summons three demons who attack Buffy. When she kills them they melt. No one seems to see this and blame Buffy's hormones. Xander is forced to fire her.

Buffy goes back to the shop and convinces Anya to let her work there. Jonathan's test loops time so that Buffy is repeatedly asked for a Mummy's hand by a customer and when she goes to fetch it it tries to kill her. Finally Buffy realises what is happening and rather than going to fetch the Mummy hand she takes an order for one. Anya notes she didn't charge for delivery and says she'll take it out of Buffy's wages. Fed up with it all Buffy storms out.

She goes to Spike's and they drink vodka together. She tells him that someone seems to be screwing with her life and that Giles is researching. Spike tells her to try his world, she is a creature of darkness like him. There are other ways to find out what she needs to know.

Arriving in a bar Buffy grabs a bottle of scotch and carries on drinking. Spike sits in on a game of poker with three demons and says it works better than beating the information out of them. Buffy, now quite drunk, is stunned to see they are playing for kittens but keeps drinking.

Spike wins and the other demons accuse him of cheating. They tell him to leave and one of them insults Buffy. Spike jumps to his feet, ready to defend her honour when Buffy says she won't help him in a bar fight. She lets the kittens go and storms out.

Spike follows her asking what's wrong. She complains about how useless she feels and how now the only person she can stand to be around is 'a neutered vampire who cheats at kitten poker'.

As they leave the bar Buffy notices the van. Jonathan appears disguised as a demon. Buffy fights him, the alcohol causing her to fall in the process. Jonathan flees and Spike helps Buffy to her feet. She tells him she feels sick and he takes her home.

Giles gives Buffy a cheque to help her out and she says she's glad he'll always be around. As Buffy shows Dawn the cheque Giles looks uncomfortable.

Buffy continues to work at the shop and the next day she goes into the basement to get some stock and finds Spike there. She tells him to put a bell around his neck and he asks if it can be with a black leather collar. Buffy asks him what he's doing and he says he's come to get (steal) some herbs to flavour the blood he drinks. He asks Buffy is she fancies a bit of rough and tumble later on. She blushes and stammers until he tells her he meant patrol. She says no but when she goes upstairs she tells Giles she might patrol later. She also muses that she found it much easier to talk to Spike when he was jsut trying to kill her.

Dawn is continuing to steal, this time one of Willow's talismans. She tells Buffy she is staying over at a friends but then sneaks out with her friends to meet two boys, who later turn out to be vampires.

Buffy decides to take up Spike's offer of patrol but when she arrives she finds the crypt seemingly deserted. After calling Spike's name a couple of times she turns to find him standing right behind her. They both jump and Spike asks her if she spoke to Giles. When she says no Spike explains that Dawn is missing. Buffy grabs weapons and they head out.

Dawn is starting to suspect the truth about her 'date' but just when she is starting to panic Giles arrives. Unfortunately some more vampires arrive at the same time and surround him. Just as he realises he's outnumbered Buffy and Spike arrive. Buffy and Dawn argue and then she, Spike and Giles fight the vampires. Dawn dusts her date and they all head home.

Spike says he should head back to his crypt and Buffy says 'good fight', watching him leave with a small smile.

During the evening Willow and Tara have had a fight about Willow's use of magic. As they go to bed, Willow casts a spell to make Tara forget they fought.

Something strange is happening in Sunnydale when everone spontaneously bursts into song, revealing their inner-most feelings. The gang meet at the shop to figure out what is going on and Dawn steals a necklace she finds

Buffy goes to visit Spike who thinks he is immune from the spell. However, he bursts into song, telling Buffy that she only comes to him when she wants information and that she only tells him her feelings because she thinks of him as being dead. But he also tells her that she makes him feel alive.

They make their way outside, Spike still singing. As the songs ends he begs her to let him rest in peace. There is a funeral going on and Buffy and Spike fall into the open grave, Buffy landing on top of Spike. They share an intense look before she climbs out and runs off.

Dawn is kidnapped and taken to the Bronze where a demon named Sweet tells her that she is to be his bride since she summoned him. Dawn denies it and tells him her sister is the Slayer. Sweet tells his henchmen to bring Buffy to him, he wants to see her burn.

Spike captures one of the henchmen and drags him to the Magic Shop. He tells Buffy about Dawn and Sweet and Xander tells them to get ready. Giles tells him that Buffy must go alone which Spike thinks is insane. He tells her he'll watch her back and she reminds him that in his song he told her to leave him alone. Spike snaps and says that he hopes she and Dawn both burn.

Buffy realises Giles isn't going to help her and as she walks to the Bronze she sings about feeling alone. She wants her fire back. Spike sits at the back of the shop and sings how he'll be free of Buffy if she dies. Then he sighs and sets off to help her.

Buffy confronts Sweet and begins to sing and dance wildly. She is just starting to smoulder when Spike arrives and saves her. He gently strokes her hair as he sings to her.

Buffy sings again and confesses she was in heaven to Willow's horror.

Sweet still wants Dawn to be his bride but she insists that although she stole the necklace from the shop, she didn't summon him. Xander confesses it was him, he wanted the gang to be together and happy. Sweet laughs and says that he doesn't want Xander to be his queen. He leaves, knowing that the people he left behind have bared their deepest feelings to each other.

The gang sing one final song during which Spike seems to come to his senses. He asks himself what he's doing and leaves. Buffy goes after him. She sings to him that she wants to feel again and he sings that she makes him feel alive. They kiss very passionatly and the curtains close

The next night Spike wants to talk to Buffy about the fact that they kissed but she doesn't. She says it will never happen again. During the discussion Buffy pushes Spike to the ground, landing on top of him. Someone is throwing stakes at him. It's a loan shark, who is really a shark. He says Spike owes him some kittens and Spike says he needs more time.

Willow suggests to Tara that they do a spell to make Buffy forget she was in heaven. Tara is horrified at the idea but Willow decides to do it anyway.

Back at the shop Giles tells Buffy that he's going back to England. As long as he's around she'll continue to lean on him and he wants her to stand on her own to feet. Buffy can't accept the fact that he's leaving and storms out.

The next day Giles summons everyone to the shop to tell them he's leaving. Spike bursts in with a flaming blanket and wearing a tweed suit, he's in disguise so he can hide from the loan shark. Giles tells them all he's leaving and Buffy is about to storm out again when everyone passes out. Willow's spell has taken place.

When the gang wake up none of them can remember anything, including who they are.

Spike makes fun of Giles' accent until he realises he's English too. They assume Spike and Giles must be father and son. Because Giles and Anya were stood together when they passed out it is also assumed that Anya is engaged to Giles. Spike is horrified that his father is marrying someone half his age but Giles seems happy with the idea.

After they search their wallets they all find out who they are except Buffy, Dawn and Spike. Dawn has a necklace with her name on it so that identifies her. Inside Spike's jacket it has the name Randy. He's mortified that his name is Randy Giles. Buffy decides to call herself Joan because she likes the name.

They decide they need to go to the hospital to cure their amnesia but as they are about to leave two vampires break in, one attacking Buffy and one going after Spike. Buffy manages to break away from her vampire and stakes the one attacking Spike. They are all amazed (Buffy included) at what she did.

Buffy tells the gang that she and 'Randy' will act as decoy while the rest of them escape through the tunnels. Before they leave Giles hugs Spike and tells him to be careful.

As Buffy and Spike leave the shop they are attacked again and this time Spike vamps out while they're fighting. At the end of the fight Buffy sees Spike's face and runs off. He chaces her and when he catches up she flips him onto the ground and tells him he's a vampire. He feels his teeth and the ridges on his forehead and realises it's true. Then he is puzzled as to why he's fighting other vampires and why he doesn't want to bite Buffy. He realises he must be a good vampire, one with a soul. Buffy thinks that sounds lame.

The shark and some more vampires arrive and a fight ensues. During this Willow's spell is broken and Buffy is momentarily stunned. One of the vampires starts beating her and Spike is tied up with two others, unable to help right away. Eventually he makes his way to her and stakes the vampire. He asks Buffy if she's alright and offers her his hand to help her up. She ignores him and runs off.

When Tara realises Willow did the spell she breaks up with her and moves out of Buffy's house. Giles catches a plane back to England as he planned.

Buffy is sitting in the Bronze, not drinking and alone. Spike approached and is about to say something to her when she turns her head away. Obviously hurt he turns to leave, he doesn't get far when Buffy goes after him. They kiss

A few days later and Buffy is in the process of fighting some muggers when Spike jumps in to help. Before Buffy can warn him he knocks one of them down and howls in pain as his chip activates. Buffy chases them away and tells Spike he should stick to fighting demons. Spike wants to talk about the two kisses they have now shared but again Buffy isn't interested. She walks off and Spike yells after her that he's all she's got.

Following a guard being frozen in the local museum Buffy goes to investigate and Spike turns up. He still wants to talk about the kisses and she's getting tired of it now. She tells him that Giles leaving had left her vulnerable which is why she did it. She makes a point of appologising for leading him on and assures him there will be no more kissing. Spike tries to tell her that he's changed but she tells him that he's not a man, he's a thing. He puts a hand on her shoulder and she swings around and hits him. Instinctivley he hits her back, knocking her to the floor.

The chip doesn't go off.

Spike quickly fakes a headache so Buffy won't suspect anything. Buffy gets up and tells him he's evil and disgusting before storming off.

Spike goes to Warren and gets him to examine the chip. He finds out that the chip is working fine, it even activates when he tries to attack a woman in the street. It's then that he realises that it's not the chip, it's Buffy.

Spike calls Buffy at the shop and asks her to meet him, alone. She doesn't show and he waits for her on the way home. She tries to brush him off and he hits her. This time he doesn't pretend it hurts. At first Buffy thinks the chip has broken but it tells her its fine, the reason he can hit her is because she's come back from the dead wrong. She's not human. Buffy accuses him of lying and they fight, Spike clearly enjoying the fact that he's now not the only 'thing' in Sunnydale. The fights carries on, the two of them crashing into an abandoned house.

Buffy tells him he's pathetic, following her around all the time. He tells her he's in love with her but she says he's in love with the pain of being knocked back all the time. Spike asks her if she's afraid of him hurting her and she silences him with a fierce and passionate kiss. She pushes him against a wall and he lifts her up so she can wrap her legs around his waist. They continue to kiss frantically and Buffy reaches down to unzip his jeans, pulling her skirt out of the way. She sinks down on him with a moan and Spike stares at her in amazement.

Buffy seems a little startled too, but then she starts to move and seems to be enjoying it. Spike's eyes close and he kisses her again. Around them the house is starting to collapse as a result of their fight but neither of them notice or care. Spike stumbles backwards and they fall through the floor to the level below. When they land she starts to move on him again and he looks totally lost in the feel of her.

The next morning Buffy lies asleep in Spike's arms, a contented smile on her face. She wakes with a start when some more debris falls down on them. She asks Spike when the building collapsed and he said it was somewhere between their first time and...' Buffy tells him the 'freak show' is over but Spike tells her not to say that and tries to convince her to stay. She kisses him and they start to make out again when he tells her that vampires get her hot.

She gets pissed and jumps up, starting to get dressed. They insult each other some more and Spike jumps up and starts to get dressed too. He tells her he's sick of being her whipping boy and she threatens to kill him if he tells anyone what they did. Spike pulls her panties out of his pocket and asks her if she wants them back. She punches him and leaves.

Willow discover's that her all night magic party has left her drained and unable to perform magic. Amy suggests they go and see a warlock named Rack. He gets people high using magic and Willow uses his services. Later she offers to take Dawn to the movies but she starts to crave the magic and ends up back at Rack's, leaving Dawn in the waiting room with other magic addicts.

Buffy finds out where Willow is and that Dawn is with her. She goes to look for them but has no luck. Finally she goes to Spike's and finds him asleep, naked. She wakes him and he tells her he's heard of Rack and that he's bad news. He gets dressed and they go looking. Spike tells Buffy that he's in her system now and soon she'll start to crave him. He tells her that if she doesn't stop being a bitch to him maybe he'll bite her.

Willow, high again, leaves Rack's when a demon attacks them, saying she brought him back from hell. Willow steals a car and magics it into driving but crashes it, knocking herself out and breaking Dawn's arm. The demon tries to attack Dawn but Buffy and Spike hear her screaming. Spike helps Dawn while Buffy fights the demon. Willow comes to and causes the demon to burst into flames. She appologises and says she needs help. Dawn doesn't care she's sorry and slaps her. Spike takes Dawn to the hospital and Buffy takes Willow home.

Willow tells Buffy she's going to give up magic, its not worth it, no matter how good it feels if it harms the people she loves. Thinking of Spike, Buffy agrees.

The final shot is of Buffy sat in her room. There is garlic everywhere and she's wearing a high neck sweater and pants. In her hand she clutches a cross.

The next day Buffy, Dawn and Willow remove all the magical items from their house in order to help Willow beat her addiction. As Buffy looks under the cushions of the couch she finds a lighter and has a flashback to her night of passion with Spike. Pushing it to one side she moves into the kitchen where Willow is cooking breakfast. As the begin to talk about Dawn Spike bursts through the door, a blanket on fire around his shoulders.

Buffy seems a little amused when Spike says he was taking a stroll and just happened to be passing by. Finally he says he was looking for his lighter but Buffy quickly says she hasn't seen it.

Once Willow has gone Buffy tells Spike that his excuse for coming to see her was lame. He says that is wasn't an excuse and that he's very fond of his lighter. Buffy tells him to stop trying to see her and not to call her 'love', although she seems neither upset nor angry at his appearance and is almost smiling. Spike senses this and goes through a list of alternative pet names for her.

He caresses her hair and tells her he likes it. Buffy picks up a metal spatula and is about to hit him with it when he stops her.As he begins to touch her she tells him to stop, but clearly doesn't mean it. His hand slides onto her hip and he finds his lighter in her pocket. Before he can say anything Xander bursts in. Buffy slaps Spike's hand away but doesn't move away from him.

Xander makes a joke about Spike still trying to win Buffy's affections, saying only a real loser would hook up with him. Buffy gets a little offended about inadvertently being called a loser and tells Xander he needs to get Dawn to school.

Just as they are leaving a social worker arrives and after Buffy invites her in she is shocked to see that Spike is still there, slouching in the armchair in a suggestive manner. He asks Buffy if they are going to talk but when she introduces the social worker to Spike he immediatley changes, telling the woman how Buffy is a good mother to Dawn.

Buffy tries to explain to the social worker that Spike isn't her boyfriend but struggles to find a word to describe what he is to her which amuses Spike. After accidently letting it slip that he lives in a crypt Spike takes the hint and leaves.

After the social worker has gone Buffy looks at herself in the mirror and thinks about what Spike had said about her hair. She takes out a pair of scissors and cuts it, then going to the hairdressers to get it fixed.

Meanwhile, Warren, Andrew and Jonathan have invented an invisibility ray which they intend to use to turn themselves invisible so that they can attack Buffy. However, the shot goes wrong and Buffy herself is turned invisible. She goes back to the shop and explains to the gang what has happened. They say they'll try and figure out how it happened but Buffy seems to like her new status. She leaves while Xander and Anya decide that it must be a spell.

Buffy goes to the social worker's office and starts to drive her crazy by whispering to her and making things move. While she i out of the room Buffy removes the details of her file from the desk and replaces it with a silly note. This leave's the social worker's boss thinking she has gone insane.

Buffy's next stop is Spike's crypt. He can sense something is there, at first thinking its a demon and then a ghost. Finally an invisibale force throws him against the wall and rips his shirt open.

He can feel a mouth kissing his neck and chest and realises it's Buffy. She says that she told him to stop trying to see her before dragging him downstairs.

Xander finds out that if they don't make Buffy visible soon she is going to turn into mush. He goes to Spike's crypt to let him know what's going on. As he steps inside he sees the place is a mess, furniture upside down and clothes all over the floor. He then hears moans coming from downstairs and goes to investigate.

Spike is naked in bed, holding himself up and moving over invisible Buffy. Xander asks him what he's doing. Spike realises Xander is there and covers by saying he's excercising, doing a few pushups on the bed to demonstrate. Xander looks skeptical but pushes it aside, asking him if he's had some trouble upstairs. Not realising Xander was actually semi-concerned about him Spike gets defensive, asking Xander is he just came to criticise his housekeeping.

Xander says he's looking for Buffy and explains that she's invisible. While Spike asks how it happened Buffy stars sucking on his earlobe and nuzzling him. Spike tries not to let it distract him and says if he finds Buffy he'll tell her he's looking for him. As Xander leaves he makes another comment about Spike's 'exercises', telling him that all joking aside, he really needs to get himself a girlfriend.

Once Xander has gone Spike gets up telling Buffy that what she did was stupid. Buffy is happy though, saying that Xander didn't even know she was here. Spike bitterly replies that that's the only reason she came, because to her she's not really there. Buffy says that for the first time since coming back she's happy. She's free of rules and reports and free of her life. Spike says that another word for that is dead.

She moves over to him and touches him, saying they thought they were having fun. Spike looks almost sad, saying they might be having fun now but sooner or later her friends will turn her back. He knows that when they do she'll reject him yet again. He implies that if he can't have all of her then he'd rather have nothing and tells her to get her clothes and leave. His eyes drift down and he realises Buffy isn't quite finished with him yet...

After finding out that she will turn to mush if she doesn't become visible again, Buffy is eventually restored after Warren, Andrew and Jonathan kidnap Willow and Buffy rescues her. She tells Willow that when she found out what was going to happen to her she realised that she didn't want to die. She's finally ready to start living again.

In order to help with her money problems Buffy gets a job at Doublemeat Palace, a local burger joint.

(The following has kindly been provided by Dori)

It's Buffy's first night shift, and it's dead. She asks the older
woman working the counter with her if it's okay if she takes another break, and the woman, sort of dazed like all the others, says it's not a good idea. Buffy wants to know why, and remarks that there's no one there. The woman says yes there is, and points.

Spike is standing at the counter, looking over the menu.

"This'll make my day complete," Buffy sighs, and goes to the counter. "What?" she says brusquely.

"What's in the doublemeat nuggets?" he says, just like a normal customer. She's not having -that-.

"I'm working," she says, "go away."

He smiles. "Yeah, and you chose to be in the consumer service
profession, and I'm a consumer." His lips twitch, like he's trying
to keep back a smirk. He's not entirely successful. "Service me."

She -so- doesn't need this. "Order something or go," she says,
deadly serious, not joining in the game.

Spike gives her a hey-I'm-trying-here look, rolls his eyes slightly. "Give a bloke a chance for his eyes to adjust," he says. "Damn fluorescent lights. Make me look dead." She's not responding to that, either. Okay, try another tack. "Some demons love 'em. The way they vibrate makes their skin twitch." The almost-smirk is back. "Is that the kind of demon you are, love?"

And still with the stone face. None of his usual tricks for gettting to her are working.

"I'm not a demon," she says quietly. "I don't know -why- you can hit me, but I'm -not- a demon."

"Ohhhh," he says, "I see. That why you took this job?" He looks
around the restaurant. "Prove something to yourself--a normal job for a normal girl?" He gives a brief headshake. "Good way to drive yourself crazy, that is."

She stares him down. "I'll be fine," she says, just on the verge of snotty.

He leans on the counter, serious now, no more games. "Buffy," he says softly. "You're not happy here." His eyes are full of genuine concern; he's worried about her.

She looks into his eyes. In a very small, pleading voice, she says, "Please don't make this harder." She knows he's not playing with her any more.

"You don't belong here," he goes on, his voice low. "You're
something b... You're better than this." He looks at her, begging her with his eyes to realize that.

She does. But... "I need the money," she says, almost a whisper. She doesn't like having to admit that to him.

Can she really be this daft? "I can -get- money," he says, rolling
his eyes as though to say, "Why are you even worrying about this when you've got me to help you?" She just looks at him, very vulnerable.

"Walk with me now," he says, softly, coaxing her, "Come on." His voice holds a promise to take care of her.

She wants to go with him. She -really- wants to, wants to let him take care of her, but... "I...I need to go help Gary with the
fries." She starts to turn, but he reaches out, grabs her arm.

"You gotta get out of here," he says, nearly desperate. "This
place'll do stuff to you." She jerks her arm away and walks toward the back. "This place'll kill you!" he calls after her.

Later...

Buffy is starting a basket of fries. One of the other employees
comes back from his break and tells her she can take hers now. She turns to go, but sees Spike walking by the window. He pauses for a second when he sees her, and she takes off the awful cow hat, runs her hand through her hair, stares at him. He breaks their gaze and goes on, an odd, almost determined look on his face.

Cut to the alley. Buffy is up against the wall, her hands on Spike's upper arms. He's bracing with his left hand on the wall, and his right hand isn't visible. He's moving against her, fairly slowly, taking his time. He's lost in her, seems to be breathing her in; he moves his head, almost as though to kiss her, but she seems to give him some invisible signal that she doesn't want him to do it, and he doesn't. She turns her head to the side and looks over his shoulder. He buries his face in her neck, and she stares into space. She looks very forlorn and lost.

In Spike's crypt. Sounds of things crashing, Buffy moaning, as we pan around the lower level of the crypt, past the empty bed. More crashing, one really loud groan, and then...silence. Well, heavy breathing.

Buffy and Spike are on the floor, lying under one of the many
oriental carpets that cover the floor. Spike is flopped out,
exhausted, and Buffy is panting, still coming down.

"We missed the bed again," she says, a little bit amused.

Spike looks toward it. "Lucky for the bed," he says, and she smiles.

Buffy sits up a little, notices the rug. "Is this a new rug?" she asks.

Spike sits up, leans on his elbows. "Nnnnnope," he says, "Just looks different when you're under it." She laughs.

"You know, this place is okay for a hole in the ground," she says, looking around. "You fixed it up."

"Well, I ate a decorator once," he says, "Maybe something stuck." Another smile from Buffy.

"I've been thinking about doing something with my room," she says, looking playfully over her shoulder at him.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I think the New Kids On the Block posters are starting to
date me." He laughs, looks down at her as though he wants to kiss her shoulder, but doesn't.

"Well, if you want, I can..." He stops, looks at her, a little
surprised. "Are we having a conversation?" He really wants to know.

"What?" she says, "No." Not mean; this is Buffy, caught at enjoying something and denying it out of habit. "No," she says again, not nearly as convinced. Then, "Maybe."

"Hmm," he says, and she looks at him, trying not to smile.

"What?" she says, a little amused.

"Well, isn't this usually the part where you kick me in the head and run out, virtue fluttering?" he says. Teasing her. Playing with her hair.

"That's the plan," she says, teasing back, not at all serious. "As
soon as my legs start working." She smiles, looks down, as though she can't believe she really said that.

He gives a tiny laugh, touches her arm, runs his fingers up to her shoulder, suddenly serious. Biting his lower lip. "You were
=amazing=," he says, stroking her shoulder.

She watches him, wanting to say something, but not sure she should. What the hell... "You got the job done yourself," she says. It's a little grudging, but whoa. She gave him a compliment.

"I was just trying to keep up," he says. His voice is low, very
intimate. He looks into her eyes. "The =things= that you do." He gives her a wicked smile and slips his hand underneath the rug. "The way you make it hurt in all the wrong places... I've never been with such an animal." He means it as a compliment, but...

She pulls away from his touch with a slight gasp. "I'm not an
animal," she says, stung.

He looks at her, eyebrow lifted. "You wanna see the bite marks?" he says, only faintly teasing.

She looks very uncomfortable, and shifts away from him. "You know, it's late," she says, "I should get home before Dawn goes to sleep."

Spike lies back down, one arm over his head. "And she's off," he
says, disgusted. Maybe at her, maybe at himself for ruining the mood.

She ducks underneath the rug. "Have you seen my underwear?" she says, her voice a little muffled, but she's not really angry any more.

He lifts his head, looks at her, there under the rug. "What is this to you?" he says, very serious. "This thing we have?"

"We don't have a thing," she says, struggling out from under the carpet. "We have =this=. That's all."

That's =all=? "Do you even like me?" he asks, raising up onto one elbow. She looks at him, not answering, and he waits, tilting his head just a fraction.

Finally she breaks the look. "Sometimes," she says in a small voice. She looks a little afraid of the admission, not knowing what he'll do with it.

"So you like what I do to you?" It's barely a question. She can't
look at him, doesn't answer, her eyes cast down. She does, but she can't say it.

His eyes narrow; he's calculating the risk of what he's about to do. He leans over, pulls a set of open handcuffs from underneath something, holds them up, dangling, in front of her. "Do you trust me?" he says. This is important, and it shows in his face.

She looks at him, her eyes huge. After a moment, she answers him. "Never," she says, her voice like a little girl's, and that "never" sounds awfully like "always."

At DMP, Tara comes in and Buffy takes a break. She's asked Tara to come there. Tara thinks Willow's done something awful, but Buffy reassures her that Willow's fine, doing better. Tara wants to know why Buffy wanted to see her, and Buffy tells her that it's about Spike. She's rubbing her wrists, not really noticing that she's doing it. "He can hurt me," she says, and suddenly realizes what her hands are doing. She puts them in her lap, hiding them. Tara is worried that the chip has stopped working, but Buffy tells her that it still works--on everybody but her. She asks Tara to check out the spell Willow used, to see if she came back wrong.

Warren, Andrew and Jonathan's latest invention is a cerebral distorter which posseses the power to make any woman their slave. They test it on Katrina, Warren's ex-girlfriend. It works, but the effects are only temporary. When it wears off Katrina freaks and tries to escape. Warren hits her over the head with a bottle, intending to knock her out. However Andrew realises with horror that she's dead. They decide to frame Buffy for it, clearing themselves and getting rid of her at the same time.

When Buffy gets home from work, expecting to spend time with Dawn, she finds that Dawn has made plans to spend the night with Janice. Buffy questions this, but Willow has checked it out, and it's kosher this time. Dawn goes off with Janice, and Buffy takes the gang up on their offer to go to the Bronze.

Xander and Anya lure Willow out on the dance floor, but Buffy says she'll sit this one out. She goes to the bar to get a refill, but leaves the cup there, empty, instead, and goes up onto the balcony. She's watching everyone dance, a little sad, not really hearing the music or the noise of the crowd, but she hears Spike, speaking from behind her.

"You see," he says, his voice soft, seductive, a little growly, "You try to be with them, but you always end up in the dark." He steps up behind her, close, his mouth near her ear. "With me." He looks down at the Scoobies on the dance floor. "What would they think of you," he says, "if they found out...All the things you've done?" He strokes her arm from shoulder to elbow, using his palm, and her eyes close, her lips part, her breath comes short. "If they knew," he goes on, "who you really were." He touches her, sliding his hand forward around her hip, and she opens her eyes, wide.

"Don't," she whispers, pleading, but her eyes are starting to glaze.

"Stop me," he tells her, his voice low, right next to her ear, and
slides his hand down the outside of her thigh, slowly, fingers
splayed. He hooks the hem of her skirt and pulls it up, his fingers caressing her bare skin. It's hard for her to breathe; she closes her eyes as his hand slides further up. Stopping him is not even a possibility right now, because this feels...so...good.

He pulls her closer, does things with his hands, watching her face as he touches her, getting off on getting her off, and she moans, leans back against him, eyes still closed, lost in his hands; she's so close to the edge...

"No," he says, his voice a rough caress. "Don't close your eyes.
Look at them." And she does. They're dancing, and it's like they're all moving too fast, while she's slowed down, just to the rhythm he's setting. "That's not your world," he whispers into her ear as he moves slowly against her. "You belong in the shadows. With me." The breath from his words stirs her hair. "Look at your friends and tell me you don't love getting away with this. Right under their noses..." She says nothing, but she knows she does. And she feels bad about it, but not enough to make him stop touching her...

When we die
We go into the arms of those who remember us.
We are home now, out of our heads
Out of our minds, out of this world
Out of this time
Are you drowning and waving? Just want you to save me.
Should we try to get along, just try to get along,
So we move, we change our speed of choices that we make
And the barriers are all self-made. That's so retrograde...

These are the words of the song we hear as:

Buffy is patrolling the cemetery, stake in hand, but not at the
ready. Spike is in his crypt, shirt open, smoking and putting burba weed in his blood. He stops, lifts his head, sensing something, and then he smiles.

Buffy is coming to his crypt. He moves to the door, slowly, listens carefully, puts his hand on the door, down low, as though he were touching Buffy, as though he can feel her through the door. She puts her hand up, touches the door, wanting to go in, but...

As her hand touches the door, inside, his hand turns and moves up to where hers rests, and the way he touches the door looks like a caress. He can feel her, his hand moving up her belly... He leans against the door, knees a little weak, and then he can't stand it any more, he has to touch her for real. He pulls the door open, but she's gone. He steps outside, looking for her, listening for her.

The song is over, and Buffy is walking away. "Don't think about the evil bloodsucking fiend," she's telling herself. "Focus on anything but the evil bloodsucking fiend..." She hears a scream, looks up to heaven. "Thank you," she says, much relieved, and goes off to see what's going on.

There are three robed figures running away, and she tackles one, but when she gets to the ground, there's nothing there; she's alone. She looks around, confused. There's a whooshing sound, and "Katrina" is lying on the ground, crying. Buffy tells her she'll get her out of there, and asks if she's hurt. There's another noise, and the girl is gone. She hears voices, whispering, accusing--"What did you do!?" She covers her ears; the next thing she knows, Spike is lying on the ground in front of her, his mouth bleeding.

"Bloody hell!" he says, wiping his lip, "What'd you do that for?"

She didn't hit him, she knows she didn't. "Spike?" she says.
Where'd he come from? The noise again, and the three robey guys are back, fighting her and Spike, who's now in vampface. She takes one out, Spike snaps another one's neck, and shouts a warning as the last one clobbers her. Then they're all gone, robey guys and Spike, but Spike is walking toward her. "Spike," she says, "what's going on?" She sounds lost and a little frightened.

He's not bleeding. "So you thought you could just slip away, then?" he says, coming to stand at her shoulder. "Vampire, remember? I could feel you."

And the robey guys are back, in the same fight as before. Spike
warns her, she turns to deck the robey demon, but hits Spike instead; the demons are gone.

"OW!" he says, lying on the ground, his mouth bleeding. "Bloody hell! What'd you do that for?"

"Katrina" runs up, crying, and falls to the ground. Then the demons again, and she and Spike fight. The demons disappear, come back, disappear again. The fight is happening out of sequence; first she's breaking the back of the first one, then they're fighting again, then Spike snaps the second one's neck, shouts his warning, and she turns around right into the fist of the third one. She knocks him back, and somebody grabs her arm; she turns and belts "Katrina" a winding. "Katrina" rolls down a hill, and Buffy goes after her. Spike manages to knock down the last demon, and starts after Buffy. But the demon
jumps him, knocking him to the ground. Spike, pissed and in a hurry to get to Buffy, says, "Do you -mind-?" and punches right through the demon's chest and out the back, maybe pulling out its heart as he withdraws his hand. He gets up and goes after Buffy.

He finds her sitting beside Katrina's dead body, staring.

"Buffy," he says.

"She's dead," Buffy replies, in shock. "I killed her."

Something is watching them from a hidden vantage point in the trees. It's "Katrina."

Spike, sounding worried, says, "We have to go."

Buffy hears the sound, but not the sense. "What happened?" she asks.

"There's nothing you can do now," Spike says. "We have to go before someone sees you."

"What did I do?"

"We have to -go-. NOW." He lifts her up and hauls her away.

He pulls her away from the body, then stops, takes her by the arms. "All right, now listen to me," he says, but she's not. "Buffy!" He gives her a slight shake. "Buffy!" But she's still out of it

"She's dead."

"It was an accident.

"I killed her..."

"I'm going to get you home."

Finally her eyes focus on him. "No!"

He gives her another shake. "I'm gonna get you home, and you're going to crawl into your warm comfy bed and -stay- there," he says, fiercely. "I'm gonna sort this out." He looks into her eyes. "Trust me." She looks at him, confused, and gives the slightest nod.

Buffy's in bed, sleeping, but not well.

"It's all right, love," Spike says, and gets into the bed. He's
naked, and he reaches out to her, caresses her shoulder. She wakes up, and he soothes her. "Shh." He strokes her back, her shoulder. "It'll be our little secret," he says, and kisses her shoulder tenderly, twice. She turns over, reaches up, kisses him.

He kisses back, and she takes his face in her hands, rolls them over,and...

They're in his crypt, on his bed. She's on top of him, moving, and his arms are stretched over his head. She slides her hands up his arms, and sees that he's handcuffed. When she touches him, his eyes close and his hands, clenched into fists, relax. She throws her head back and...

She's handcuffing Katrina, sitting on top of her and pushing her
bound hands over her head. "Do you trust me?" she says, and Katrina smiles. Then she grimaces, and Buffy is underneath Spike, coming hard, clutching at his arms. Suddenly, she's knocking Katrina down, and then she's in the crypt again, kneeling over Spike, who's asleep on the floor. She has a stake in her hand, and she lifts it up, plunges it toward his chest...

It goes through Katrina's heart. Katrina opens her eyes, and they're clouded over.

And Buffy wakes up fully clothed on top of the covers.

At the police station...

Buffy is coming up the alley beside the station. Just as she's about to turn the corner, she hears Spike's voice behind her.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"The right thing. For once."

He comes up, grabs her, pulls her back into the alley, throwing her to the ground. "Sorry, love," he says, "but I can't let you do that."

She gets up. "I have to tell them what happened."

He looks at her. "=Nothing= happened," he says harshly, frowning.

"I killed that girl.."

"Demons in the woods, time going wonky--They won't believe you."

Okay, this is the Sunnydale PD; he's probably right. "I'll show
them," she says, lip quivering.

He smiles bitterly. "Show them what?" he says. Gotcha...

She looks at him, horrified. He can't mean...? "What did you do?"

"I took care of it." And he's obviously not going to say anything else.

That is not acceptable. "What," she says through her teeth, "did you do???"

He gives her a hard look. "What I had to," he says, spitting the
words at her. "I went back and I took care of it. Doesn't matter
now. They'll never find her."

Two cops come out of the station. "Where'd they find her?" one of them says.

"The river," says the other one. "She washed up half a mile from the
cemetery."

Spike looks up at heaven, as though to say, How could you. "Oh, balls..."

The policemen take off for the river in their patrol car.

Spike, worried into breathing, tries to calm them both. "There still isn't anything to connect this to you," he says.

"It doesn't matter." She's got her Slayer face on; she really
intends to do this.

He's not going to let her sacrifice herself. "It wasn't your fault."

"I killed her." Her jaw is set, and she looks ready to belt him one if he doesn't get out of her way.

"It was an accident, it just happened." Why can't she see that?

"Nothing just happens." She stalks past him, and he grabs her,
swings her around.

"You are not going in there," he growls. Dangerous.

"I have to do this," she says, pleading with him now. "Just let me go."

Doesn't she see? How can she not know this? "I can't. I love you."

She stares up at him, her lip trembling. "No," she says, her eyes
begging him to agree with her, just this once. "You don't."

Bloody hell. She still doesn't want to believe it, after everything
they've been through? He's sick to death of her denying it. "You
think I haven't tried not to?" he says, hurt in every taut line of
his body.

Unaccountably, that pisses her off. "Try harder," she says through her teeth, and belts him across the alley, into the wall. She turns and starts for the station door. But he's right there, with a burst of vamp speed, and tosses her back into the alley.

He looks at her, still in vampface, but calm. "You are not throwing your life away over this," he tells her. Not while there's unlife in his body...

"It's not your choice," she says, fiercely.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" he says. Her determination to do this stupid thing makes no sense to him.

"A girl is -dead- because of me."

One girl. "And how many people are alive because of you?" he says, desperate to make her understand. "How many have you saved? One dead girl doesn't tip the scale!"

She looks at him, not understanding why -he- can't get it. "That's all it is to you, isn't it?" she snaps. "Just another body."

He heaves a big sigh. "Buffy..." That's not it, why can't she give
him more credit?

She throws a punch. He blocks it easily, and the next blow, but the third one lands in his gut, and he doubles over.

"You can't understand why this is killing me, can you?" she says, near tears.

"Why don't you explain it?" he gasps. She lands a kick to his chest, a right cross to his jaw, and he takes it.

"That's it," he says. This is progress, maybe. "Put it on me, put
it all on me." He blocks a hard kick to his groin.

"That's my girl..."

"I am NOT. YOUR. GIRL." With the last word, she delivers an
uppercut that knocks him on his ass. She's on him immediately,
pinning him down.

Punch to the face. Again. He lets her. "You don't," another punch, "have a soul." She's ranting, now. Trying to convince herself that she's really talking about him. "There is nothing good or clean in you. You are dead inside." She punches him again. "You," whack, "can't," whack, "feel," whack, "anything real. I could never be your girl!" She punches him again, again, and he can't hold the vampface. Another punch, to his bruised, bleeding, swollen human face, and another, another, another, another, a flurry of blows landing like anvils on his face, enough to kill a mortal man, and one final one that rolls his eyes back in his head. Maybe her arm gets tired, or maybe she finally runs out of anger, but at last she sees him. Really sees what she's done to him--his right eye is swollen shut already, he's bleeding from his broken nose, from a cut on his cheek, from the wound on his mouth which has broken open from where she hit him accidentally in the fight with the demons.

Horror fills her face as she realizes what she's done, and she pulls back from him. "I..." she says, perhaps about to begin an apology, but the magnitude of how she's hurt him stops her words.

He tries to look up at her, tries to smile. "You... always hurt
the...one you love, pet," he says, forgiving her already, and she
backs away from him, unable to believe what she's done.

She's gone out of his field of vision, and he looks up, trying to
locate her. "Buffy?" he says, but she doesn't answer, but walks
past him, her face set in determined lines. He rolls over painfully, bracing one hand on the filthy pavement. "Buffy?" he says again, but she ignores him and goes into the police station, leaving him sprawled bleeding in the alley.

Much later, after she and the Scoobies have figured out that Warren is behind the murder, Buffy is in her house, talking to Tara. Tara tells her that there's nothing wrong with her, she just came back changed on a cellular level, enough to confuse Spike's chip, but not enough to change who she is. she isn't wrong.

Buffy is freaked that she didn't come back wrong, and asks Tara to check again. When Tara tries to reassure her, she says, "This can't be me. Why do I let Spike do those things to me?" She's crying, devastated to think that she's done all those things with Spike without being wrong. Tara asks her if she loves Spike; Buffy can't answer, looks terrified even at the prospect of having to think about it.

"It's okay if you love him," Tara says, trying to reassure her, "he's done a lot of good and he does love you. And...and, Buffy, it's okay if you don't love him. You're going through a really hard time, and you're...

Buffy looks up, stung. "What?" she says, "Using him? What's okay about that?"

"It's not that simple," Tara says.

"It is," Buffy sobs, "It's wrong. =I'm= wrong." she says, her face crumpling, "Tell me that I'm wrong, please..." She's openly sobbing, now. "Please don't forgive me," she cries, laying her head in Tara's lap, and Tara tries to comfort her as she keeps begging Tara not to forgive her...

Whilst patrolling Buffy kills a demon with its own sword. Taking a liking to the weapon she takes it home, not realising the demon has trapped itself inside.

Buffy, Xander and Anya are getting ready for Buffy's birthday party. Tara shows up, asks Buffy how she's doing. She also asks if Spike is coming. Buffy says no, he may be a chiphead, but he still doesn't play well with others.

After a very awkward conversation with Willow, Tara goes into the kitchen with Buffy. Someone knocks on the door; it's Spike, with beer.

Spike says that Willow mentioned the shindig. "We're all part of the team," he says, "I figured I'd swing by." At this point, Clem, the floppy-skinned demon from the poker game, comes in. Buffy looks surprised, and wants to know what kind of team. Clem reminds her that they've met before, and introduces himself to Tara. Just then Xander brings in Richard, the very bland guy that he and Anya have invited to "get to know" Buffy. Xander says she'll show Richard where to park his car, and they go out. Spike lifts an eyebrow at her as they leave.

"Stupid git," Spike says, rolling his eyes as he closes the kitchen door. He sounds very disgusted with Richard.

"I don't know," Tara says, "He seemed cute. W...was he cute? I
mean, I'm not a very good judge, but I think he seemed cute." Spike looks at her like she's suddenly grown another head.

Clem thinks a second. "I think he seemed cute, yeah," he says, and Spike give him the same look he gave Tara.

Later, Buffy comes down the stairs. Spike is waiting for her. He
pulls her aside. "You want to slip away for a minute, love?" he
says. Low, his voice a little rough.

"What?" she says, not believing he's suggesting this with a house full of people.

He grins at her. "I'll let you blow out my candles..."

She raises her eyebrows. "Here. Now? I don't think so."

"What, are you worried about Richard?" he says, trying not to laugh. "You don't want to make your new boyfriend jealous, eh?"

"Shut up," she says, smiling at him, seeing through him. "He's sweet."

" 'Shut up, he's sweet,' " Spike says, mocking her. Smiling--they're teasing each other now.

"Maybe he's not the jealous one," she says archly, and, giving him a wicked smile, walks away.

"You think he'll take you out on his ten-speed, Pet?" Spike calls
after her. "Or maybe he'll...let you ride in that little basket up
front," he mutters. To himself, because she's already gone.
"Jealous my ass," he says, very self-conscious, and then looks a
little peeved with himself.

Spike watches Buffy open her presents, hanging back, leaning against the wall, not really participating.

Later, after Dawn has made a wish to a vengeange demon, Richard finds Buffy in the foyer. He asks her if he can get her a drink. Spike comes in, lounging by the stairs. Buffy sees him, and tells Richard that she's good, and that she's going back in to the party in a sec. He says he'll look for her, and goes back into the living room.

Spike gives her a big, teasing grin. "Oooo-oooh," he says, mocking Richard, "Buf-fy, can I get you a soda pop? I think I'm in loooooove." He walks up to her, into her space, and takes her hands. She jerks them away.

"Stop it," she whispers, "Someone's gonna see." She starts to walk away, but he's faster, and stops her by planting his hand on the wall, across her path.

"Mmm, mmm," he says, looking down at her. Oozing sex. He strokes down her arm, reaches down between them, but this time, instead of touching her, he takes her hand and pulls it toward his crotch. Unfortunately, Tara walks up just at that moment. Buffy snatches her hands away and stalks off. Tara is trying hard not to smile. Spike knows she's has seen what they were doing, but he's going to try to bluff his way out of it.

"I had, er, a muscle cramp," Spike says, going for sincere. "Buffy
was...helping."

Tara's lips twitch. "A muscle cramp? In your..." she looks away, "pants?"

Spike looks a little peeved that he hasn't convinced her. "What?" he says, defensive. "It's a thing...!"

"Riiiight," she says, giving him a big grin, and walks away. He
stares after her.

In the wee hours of the morning, Buffy, Anya, Dawn and Richard are playing Monopoly. Buffy's ready to quit, but Richard tries to talk her out of it. He mentions how late it is, and Dawn, all bouncy, suggests that they have a slumber party. Buffy says, well, as long as everybody's staying up anyway...

Spike, playing poker with Xander, Tara and Clem, barely looks up from his cards. "Must be some late-night activity that'll keep us busy til morning," he says, and glances up at Buffy, eyebrow slightly raised. She just gives him a Look.

"How's that cramp, Spike?" Tara says, giving Spike the same kind of Look. "Still bothering you?"

"What?" he says. Where the hell did that come from? "Er, yeah."

Tara gives him a sweet smile. "Maybe you, uh, wanna put some ice on it." She goes back to her cards, and Spike looks a little puzzled.

After the sun comes up, Willow and Buffy's friend from work are
asleep on the sofa, Xander, Dawn and Clem are watching cartoons, and Buffy and Spike are sitting together, in the foreground. Buffy is dealing cards. Richard comes in and tells Xander that they have to get to work.

"You should definitely go," Spike says. "Let's find your coat and
get you on your merry way."

"Spike," Buffy says quietly, reproving.

"I don't know why I'm not leaving," Richard says.

"Me either," Spike says. There is a deep undertone of snark in his voice. "Besides, Richie, you can't skip breakfast, growing boy like you." He smiles, that dangerous, predator smile. "Me, I used to love breakfast. In the old days, I probably would have eaten by now." Richard doesn't see the threat, but Buffy does.

"Of course," she says, her tone a warning, "With that new diet of yours, you want to be careful what you try putting in your mouth now, -Spikey-." She gives him a pointed look, which, of course, he ignores.

"Yeah?" he says. "Dunno. My tummy's making all sorts of gurglies. Maybe I ought to just feed on whatever's around. Even if it doesn't go down well." He gives Richard an appraising look. "You work out?"

"Oooohkey-dokey," Buffy says brightly, and hauls Spike out into the foyer.

"Hey, Mr. Passive-Agressive guy," she says, "Seriously, wanna take it down a notch or two in there?" She's ticked, but not quite to pissed yet.

"What," Spike says, scoffing, "Poor dainty Richard can't take a joke?"

Her eyes widen. "We do not joke about eating people in this house," she says.

"What are you gonna do," he says, "beat me up again?" Clearly, he's not as okay with that beating as he wants to be. Or he's trying to make her feel guilty. Doesn't work.

"I should have thrown you out the second you got here," she says. "I was insane to =ever= think that you could hang out with my friends."

"And I was insane to think..." he begins, bitterly, but breaks off.
"No, wait. You were right. You're insane."

"I think it's time for you to go," Buffy says, and now she is pissed.

"Yeah, well, can't," Spike snaps back, getting pissed himself. "Daylight."

"Then I'll go," Buffy says.

"And I'll get the door."

"Fine."

"Fine."

A pause. "I'm actually trying to move right now," Buffy says.

"Yeah, me too," Spike says, looking worried.

Buffy has gathered everyone together in the living room, and they're trying to figure things out. They've worked out that they can't leave the house, and everyone is saying that they have to be somewhere, they have things to do.

Dawn pitches a snit, saying that it would just be so awful to be
stuck in there with =her=, and runs up the stairs.

Buffy, Tara, Willow, Xander and Spike go up after her, trying to find out what's going on. Spike hangs in the background, but he's there, worried about the Bit. They're asking if Dawn did something to cause the problem, and she denies it. She screams at them to get out of her room.

Downstairs, the six of them are worrying about Dawn. They decide on magic. Tara says she'll do it, but needs supplies. Willow confesses that she's kept one or two things, just in case.

Tara does the spell, calling for "Release," and the spell lets the
demon out of the sword. She tells them to try the door. Spike
strains to go and open it, but he can't move, and then the demon is on them. Richard gets slashed across the stomach, the demon knocks Buffy across the room. Spike catches her. The demon melts into the floor. Buffy promises to have them out soon.

It's after dark, and "soon" hasn't happened. Spike asks Buffy if
she's ever thought about -not- celebrating her birthday, you know, just to try it out?

Buffy says she's going to check upstairs, and asks Spike to keep an eye on things. No snarkiness, just the general, delegating important responsibilities to her second.

Anya is freaking out. Xander goes to get her a glass of water, but the demon appears and grabs him. He screams. Spike hears, looks worried, muffles a swear word, dashes in and tries to pull the demon off Xander, punching it in the side. The demon flings Spike back. Buffy comes down and joins the fight. In the melee, Xander gets slashed on the arm. Buffy calls to Spike to try to get the demon's sword, and he tries, but the demon flings him off again, and he's out for a second. Buffy knocks the demon into the wall, where it vanishes. She sees Xander's hurt, and asks to see, but just then Anya comes in, and Xander gets himself up, ignoring the pain, to reassure her.

Spike and the rest of the Scoobies are in the dining room. Anya is freaked out, and points out that they've got a very powerful witch right there who isn't doing anything to help. Willow says she can't, and anyway,she doesn't know if there's anything she could do. Anya has a big problem with that, and makes a very snarky reply. Spike steps forward from where he's been holding up the wall. "Look," he says, ready to defend Willow, but Willow tells Anya that it's dangerous. Xander breaks in, siding with Anya, for once. He tells Willow they'll help her if it gets bad again. Spike, listening, just shakes his head; Xander so doesn't get it. Willow still won't do it; she might not be able to stop.

"And whose fault is =that=?" Anya says, getting up and in Willow's face. "If you hadn't gotten so much of it in your system in the first place..."

"Hey!" Tara steps between Anya and Willow. "You're going to back off," she says to Anya, and there's no trace of hesitation or shyness or stuttering, just fierce determination to protect Willow. "She said no, and you're not going to make her do anything she doesn't want to. and if you try," she crosses her arms over her chest, "you're gonna have to go through me. Understood?"

"Fine," Anya says, and says that if nobody is going to do anything, she'll do it herself.

After they figure out that Dawn has made a wish to a Vengeance Demon, Anya calls for Halfrek, who is the only one who can break the spell. Spike stands on the stairs watching as Hallie materializes. The demon pops up behind her, and impales her with the sword. She falls.

Big fight, with Buffy and Spike fighting as a team against the demon. Spike manages to knock the sword out of its hand, and Buffy picks it up, but the demon fades into the wall. Buffy plunges the sword into the wall where he vanished, and he's absorbed into the sword, which she then breaks.

Anya wants to get Hallie's pendant, but Hallie sits up, throws her back onto the sofa with Xander. "There will be no touching of the pendant," she says.

Anya wants to know why she did this. Hallie says she'd told Anya that she was going to take care of some business while she was in town, and she just goes...

She breaks off when Spike comes into the room, and stares at him, shocked. "William?" she says softly, not quite believing her eyes.

Spike draws back. "Hey, wait a minute..."

"You guys know each other?" Buffy says, and the others gather around, waiting for the answer.

Hallie hesitates a moment before answering. "Uh, no," she says, "No." She turns away, primping her hair.

"Er, no, not really," Spike says, but he looks puzzled. He knows
her, but hasn't quite got it figured out yet.

Tara says that she thought vengeance demons took care of men who wronged women, and Hallie explains that that was just Anya's =raison d'etre=; the rest of them like to be more...well-rounded. Anya calls her on that; apparently, Hallie is into taking care of abusive parents/guardians.

Hallie tells them that Dawn was in pain, and none of them heard. Now they'll have nothing but time, and each other. She makes a dramatic gesture, but nothing happens. She tries again, and still nothing. Anya points out that she's trapped in her own spell, and she pouts and releases everybody, then vanishes.

Xander and Anya help Richard downstairs; they're going to take him to the ER. Spike goes and tries the door; it opens, and the Scoobies all go outside. Even Spike. Dawn and Buffy are left
alone in the house.

Returning home from work Buffy finds Spike outside her house waiting for her. She immediately knows what he wants and tells him no, that Dawn is inside waiting for her dinner. However Spike talks her into a quick romp behind a tree.

The next day at work Buffy is stunned when Riley appears. He asks her for help and without a second thought she walks out of Doublemeat Palace and as they trace the demon they catch up on what's been happening.

Whilst fighting the demon, the two of them recieve back up from Sam, who Riley introduces as his wife. Buffy is stunned and kills the demon, only to be told afterwards that they wanted it alive. Buffy invites Riley and Sam back to her house.

Riley explains that the demon came to the hellmouth to nest and that someone called The Doctor intends to sell the eggs on the black market. Riley goes to search for him, leaving Sam and Bufy to seek out the nest.

After Sam tells Buffy how she and Riley got together Buffy says she needs to see on of her informants alone. She heads to Spike's crypt. After telling him about The Doctor she asks him if he loves her. He says yes. She asks him if he wants her and he says that he always does.

They fall onto his bier which is covered with a blanket and love-making ensues

As they lay resting afterwards Riley walks in. Buffy is horrified but says nothing. Spike and Riley verbally jab each other until Riley calls him 'Doctor'. He demands to know where the eggs are which Spike denies any knowledge off. Buffy tries to defend Spike, saying that he's not good but he wouldn't do something like that. However, she is silenced when Riley finds the eggs in the lower part of Spike's crypt.

Spike tries to say that he was holding onto them for someone else but Buffy punches him telling him that she doesn't want any more games. Hurt, Spike mockingly replies that it's rich coming from her since all she's ever done is play him. He walks off.

The eggs hatch and after an initial fight Buffy blows the lot of them with a grenade which she took from Riley, destroying part of the crypt in the process.

Later Riley tells her he's been told to kill The Doctor and asks if he should. Buffy says no, admitting she's been sleeping with him although she can't explain why. She accuses him of coming back to rub his perfect wife and perfect life in her face. Riley says that although she's sleeping with an idiot, she's still the first girl he ever loved and the strongest too. He and Sam leave.

Buffy visits Spike and tells him that it's over. She can't love him. At first Spike won't accept it, saying he's heard all this from her before. All she can say is "I'm sorry, William." Before leaving him and walking back into the sun.

It's the day of Xander and Anya's wedding, Spike walks in with Tarantula, the hobiscuit. He's got his arm over her shoulder.

She's short, black hair with crimson swirls, eyebrow piercings, dark eye makeup, definite 'tude. And not at all dressed appropriately for a wedding.

Dawn, putting D'Hoffryn's squirmy gift down, sees them come in. She goes over to them. "Spike!" she calls, and he turns.

"Uh, I want you to meet my date," he says, hitching up his belt. Trying hard to look like he's just the hottie of the world, but with deep undertones of bravado.

Dawn, a little taken aback, gives her a quick once-over, and she's clearly not impressed, but Joyce raised her right. She smiles, offers her hand, introduces herself. Being polite.

The hobiscuit shakes her hand. "Uh-huh," she says, deeply not impressed with this =child=, and looks back to Spike.

Dawn's not impressed either, but she's trying not to be so obvious. Joyce would be proud. Spike notices, notices the hobiscuit looking away, bored

"So yeah," Spike says, "Anyway, that's my date. She's with me. My date for the wedding." Still trying to show how he's not at =all= broken up by the breakup, which Dawn, of course, doesn't even know about. For those who do know, it's SO working. Not.

"Yyyyyyeah," Dawn says, smile still plastered on, but maybe faltering a tad. "Okay. Well." SO time to get out of here... "Nice meeting you..." And she's out of there.

Buffy and Xander are going over the rules: Keep his family away from the bar. Dawn comes up and tells Buffy that Spike just arrived, and he brought a date. "A total skank," she calls the hobiscuit, and says she's "totally macking" with Spike in the middle of the room. "I saw him stick his tongue down her..." Dawn says. Buffy, still stuck on the "Spike brought a date" part but SO not wanting to hear about Spike's tongue, interrupts her. "Wait 'til you see her," Dawn says, with eyeroll. Buffy's obviously surprised, and not in a good way.

Spike is leaning against the wall, alone, looking as though he feels out of place. Buffy sees him. He sees her, looks down. She walks over to him.

"Hello, Buffy." He's glad to see her, glad she looks so well, but...

"Hey," she says. Not quite sure how to deal with being glad to see him, just a little.

"So this is the happy occasion," he says. Making small talk, but that's not why he brought the hobiscuit, is it? He takes a breath.
"You meet my friend?" Just a tiny bit of cocky to leaven the bravado.

"No. Not yet," Buffy says. "But she seemed a very nice attempt at making me jealous." Tiny smile, to let him know she's teasing.

Well, he wanted her to notice. "Is it working?" he says.

She looks down. Maybe not sure she wants to answer this, but... "A little."

His face softens. It is?

"It doesn't change anything," she says, "but if you're wildly curious, yeah, it hurts." She's very serious. Telling the truth.

For a fraction of a second, his face holds hope, but when he realizes that she's admitting that she's hurt, he's contrite. "I'm sorry," he says, meaning it. Hurting her is the last thing he wants to do. But wait. Whipped much, Spike? "Or, good." She smiles at that. He looks at her for a second, thinking. He's gotten her to admit that she misses him, but he doesn't want to keep hurting her. "Do you want us to go?" he says softly.

"No, no," she says. And she really doesn't. "You have every right to be here. And I pretty much deserve..." She looks down.

That stings him. "That's not true, you know." He looks at her, trying to convince her, and realizes that he's falling back into the old patterns. He looks up, closes his eyes for a second. "God, this is hard."

"Yeah." She's not looking at him, focused on how much this really does hurt. Maybe a little surprised to realize that it does.

"I think we'll go." He can't stand that look on her face, or knowing it's there because of him.

"Go where?" she says, afraid of what he'll say. "Your place?" Better to know and hurt for a while than imagine it.

"Yyyyyeah," he says. Meaning, hadn't thought that far ahead. "I suppose. That -was- the idea."

She smiles, being polite. "Yeah." Well, what else did she expect?

He sees she's not happy, waves a hand. "Evil...," he says, as though it should be obvious.

"Of course." Fake smile.

"Ah, but I won't..." he says. He makes a face. "Or..." He breaks off again. "I'll just go. Give my best or whatever to the happy couple..."

"I will." This is getting harder and harder.

He smiles at her, a genuine smile. "It's nice to watch you be happy," he says. "For them, even." He looks down, not sure about saying the next bit, but he goes ahead. "I don't see it a lot." He looks back up at her. "You glow."

She smiles, a real, happy smile at the compliment. But she doesn't really know how to take a compliment from him. "That's because the dress is radioactive," she says, knowing how ridiculous the thing looks on her. He laughs. It really is an atrocious dress. For a second, they're like a normal, happy couple. But they can't be normal... "I should..." She looks down.

"Yeah." That one moment will last him a while, but right now it hurts to see it and not reach for it. She walks past him.

He turns, desperate for one last crumb. "But it hurts," he says.

She turns slowly. For a moment she looks at him, her face naked. Hurts is maybe a small word for how it feels. "Yeah," she whispers, and she looks almost happy to be able to give him this.

He looks at her, realizing that she is giving him something. But it's still too late. He blinks, trying not to well up. "Thanks," he says, his voice low and a little shaky, and walks away.

"You're welcome," she whispers, after his back is turned. Knowing he'll hear.

Spike meets the hobiscuit at the door. "Let's go, then," he says, gruffly. He takes her hand.

"What about the wedding?" she says, a little surprised.

"Let's just piss off, all right?" He pulls her out the door, not looking at her, not looking back.

Close to finding Warren's lair, the trio summon a demon who shoots Buffy in the arm with a stinger. She then starts to believe that the world of Sunnydale isn't real and that she is in fact a patient in a mental insistiute. Her life as the Slayer is in fact imagined.

Spike is walking through the cemetery, carrying a paper bag with cartons of cigarettes. He stops.

"You looking for me?" he says, and we see that he's talking to Buffy.

"Really not," she says, turning away.

"Oh. right then," he says. "Off you go." She starts to leave, and,
not quite willing to give up the conversation that easily, he calls after her, "Did you cry?"

"What?" she says, and it's obvious that she's not on the same page he is.

"The wedding," he says. "You know, two hearts joined for eternity, great pelting showers of rice and so forth?"

"You didn't hear," she says. She turns around and comes to him.

"What ?" he says, "Families get out of hand? Tear the place apart?"

"No," she says. "Well, yes, absolutely. But... Xander left. The
wedding didn't happen."

"Well," he says, sitting down on a bench. "Gotta say. Didn't see
that one coming."

Buffy sits down on the other end of the bench.

"It was awful. Anya was devastated."

"Is that right."

"Xander thinks maybe they can still get bac k together but...he hurt her a lot."

"Some people just can't see a good thing when they've got it," he says, trying not to lift an eyebrow at her. She gives him a "don't start" look.

"Spike." It's Willow, accompanied by Xander.

"I should have known you'd be tagging along," Xander says. It's
typical Xander/Spike interaction, but with maybe a little more edge than usual.

Buffy stands up. "Hey. Guys. I, uh, I found Spike and I was
just... trying to figure out what kind of dangerous contraband he
had..."

Spike, disgusted, gets up. He throws his cigarette on the ground, grinds it out with his boot, his mouth set. "Tell you what, Slayer," he says, his tone calm but with an undertone of bitterness. "Let me get out of your way. Stop bothering you." He starts off.

"Yeah," Xander says, "Why don't you do that? Just run along." Needling.

Spike stops, stalks back to Xander. "You'd know all about that,
wouldn't you?" he says. He may not be able to hit Xander physically, but verbally, well, that's another story. "The king of the Big Exit. Heard it brought the house down."

"I don't need this crap from you." Xander's raw, and right now, this moment, he's dangeous. Spike, of course, doesn't care.

"Right," he says, bitter sarcasm in his voice. "Let's not listen to
Spike. Might get a bit of truth on you." He starts to shove past
Xander, but Willow stops him with a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey," she says, very nervous, not wanting to get caught in the
crossfire. "Calm now. Let's just turn around the other way and
release this very manly thing the other way."

"Hey," Xander says, staring Spike down, "I just remembered that Willie Wannabite here can't hurt me. Time to pick a fight, I guess." He's coiled, just aching for a fight.

"Xander..." Willow says. Meanwhile, Buffy clutches her head and
sinks down onto the bench.

Spike gets up in his face. "More than happy to beat you through the pain, you pathetic poof," he snarls, and tosses aside the bag. Xander takes the opportunity to punch him in the face, and he goes tumbling ass over teakettle.

"Guys, don't," Buffy moans. Flash to the hospital.

"Buffy?" Willow says, going to her. Xander follows. "Are you okay?"

Another flash to the hospital, where Buffy sees Joyce and Hank.

"No," Buffy says, back in the cemetery, holding her head.

"Here," Spike says, worried, "Let's get her back to my crypt..."

"Spike," Xander snaps, "Just...go. She's -our- friend, we'll take
care of her."

Buffy looks very confused, but realizes she's worrying everyone.
"No, guys," she says, "I'm okay. I'm okay."

"Come on, Xander," Willow says, helping Buffy up. "Let's get her
home." With Willow and Xander supporting her, they lead her off. Spike watches them go.

"Put a little ice on the back of her neck," he calls after them, then turns and picks up the bag of smokes. "She likes that," he says, his voice not quite steady, and heads for his crypt.

Spike and Xander are hunting the demon, out in the woods.

"So," Spike says, "she's having the wiggins, is she? Thinks none of us are real. Bloody self centered, if you ask me." He's slightly
amused, shading into bitter.

"Spike, we need muscle, not color commentary," Xander says, his eyes peeled for the demon. Does this vamp never stop talking?

"On the other hand," Spike goes on, ignoring the whelp, "it might explain some things. This all being just in that brain of hers. Yeah, whips up some chip in my head, make me soft, fall in love with her. Then, turn me into her soddin' sex slave." He's clearly unhappy with how she was treating him, and with himself for letting her do it.

"What???" Xander, still watching out for the demon, and plainly not paying close attention to Spike's ramblings, caught that sex slave part...

"Nothing," Spike says, sighing. "Alternative realities. Where
we're all little figments of Buffy's funny farm delusion. You know, in a different reality, you might not have left your bride at the altar. You might have gone through with it like a man."

Xander stops dead, finally looking at Spike. "Okay," he says, "one more syllable about Anya or..." But the demon jumps out at them. They both jump.

Spike gets a good look at the thing, and rolls his eyes. "Oh,
balls," he says, completely disgusted with Xander, "you didn't say it was a Glarga Ghul Gashminik."

"Because I can't say glarba..." Once again the demon interupts
Xander, by attacking them. Spike does most of the fighting, and
Xander gets off two tranquilizer darts, dead into the thing's chest. Spike finally overpowers it and it slumps, unconscious.

Xander looks at it, grinning. "I altered his reality," he says.
"Get it? I..." And he realizes that he's joking around with Spike.
"Never mind."

Xander and Spike are wrestling with the now-awake demon in Buffy's basement. They're trying to chain it to a support beam. Spike "accidentally" pushes the demon into Xander and knocks them both down, then chains the demon up. It kicks Xander on the shin. They both hold its arms while Willow stabs it in the arm with a big fork, making its stinger come out. Willow breaks it off. She tells Xander to go to the Magic Box for some herbs, and tells him to meet her at the campus lab.

Spike, still securing the demon, says, "I'll hold here, keep an eye on the wax job."

"Make sure that's all you're ogling," Xander snaps, and Willow
shushes him.

Willow brings Buffy the antidote, which took longer than she though, because she couldn't use magic.

Buffy takes the cup. "You never stop coming through," she says,
sounding very lost. "Thank you, Willow."

Spike comes in, looking worried.

"How is she?" he asks Willow.

"Make sure she drinks all that," Willow says. She's acting as though Spike were soemone she'd trust Buffy with completely. "I'm going to tell Dawn that everything's going to be okay." She leaves them alone.

"You all right?" He looks at her, plainly worried.

"You need to leave me alone," she says, her face twisting in pain. "You're -not- part of my life."

There's a flash of hurt, and then the anger kicks in. "Fine then,"
he says, turning to go. He changes his mind about leaving before he finishes the first step, and comes back. "But I hope you don't think this an..." He steps into a sunbeam and flinces back from it. "I hope you don't think this antidote is going to rid you of that nasty martyrdom. See, I figured it out, love. You can't help yourself.You're not drawn to the dark like I thought. You're addicted to the misery. S'why you won't tell your pals about us. Might actually have to be happy if you did. They'd either understand and help you, God forbid, or drive you out, and you could finally be at peace. in the dark. With me."

She closes her eyes, pained at the thought. "Either way, you'd be better off for it, but you're too twisted for that." He pauses,
throat working. This is so important, and he needs to get through to her so badly... "Let yourself live, already," he says, pushing the words out through a tight throat. "And stop with the bloody hero trip for a second. We'd all be the better for it." He stops, looks at her, curled up on her bed, so miserable... "You either tell your friends about us...," he says, his tone all steel, "or I will."

She closes her eyes. God, this is so hard... She starts to drink
the antidote, but she stops. Her brow smooths out as she makes a decision, and then she leans over and pours the stuff into the trash can.

Buffy tries to kill her friends, thinking that if she does it will remove her from the 'imaginary world' and back to her parents. However, a speech from her mother makes her realise what she really is and she retreats back into her life in Sunnydale where she kills the demon and is given some fresh antidote by Willow.

Buffy and Spike are fighting some vamps in the cemetery, or more to the point Buffy is fighting and Spike is just keeping hold of one vamp, threatening to let him go if Buffy doesn't tell her friends about them. Buffy says that the previous week she tried to kill her friends, she figures they'll cope with the fact that she has been sleeping with Spike. Spike asks her if they won't mind then why won't she sleep with him again. She walks off, saying that she doesn't love him. "Like hell you don't" Spike replies.

Meanwhile Xander finds Anya and tries to appologise. It all comes out wrong and Anya turns to him in her demon face, saying she wishes he'd never been born. She starts making all sorts of wishes against him, getting frustrated when nothing happens. Finally she flounces off. She goes to see Halfrek who tells her that someone else has to make the wish in order for it to be granted. She tries to get various people to make a wish against Xander but they don't.

In his frustration Xander kicks the head off a garden gnome in Buffy's garden. There is a camera inside and Xander tells Buffy that Spike must have planted it because he's got this obsession with her. Buffy goes to see Spike. He tells her he had nothing to do with the camera, what he feels for her is real.

He loves her. Buffy says she knows it's real to him but that he has to get over it and move on. Spike tells her to leave.

Anya tells Halfrek that she needs to find someone that doesn't care about Xander to make a wish against him. Right on cue Spike walks in.

Spike and Anya talk, drinking as they do. Spike upset that Buffy called him a 'soulless, evil thing' and Anya is upset that she tried so hard to change for Xander and he still jilted her. As they get more drunk they move closer together. Spike kisses her and Anya responds before pulling back and asking what he's doing. He says he's "Moving on."

"Good." Anya replies. "Cause I'm lonely and drunk and you smell really good"

Meanwhile Willow has managed to hack into the surveilance system and they see Spike and Anya through the camera in the shop. Buffy runs out and Dawn goes after her, realising that something has been going on with her and Spike. Buffy admits it to Dawn but they are interrupted by Willow who says that Xander has taken off with Buffy's axe.

Spike and Anya look rueful about what they've done but also share a moment of silent understanding before Spike leaves. Outside the shop he is attacked by Xander. Xander mocks Spike for not fighting back until Spike reminds him of the chip. Anya tries to get Xander away from Spike and seconds later Buffy arrives, breaking up the fight.Xander then turns on Anya saying that he can't belive she let an evil soulless thing touch her and that looking at her makes him sick. Spike says that it was good enough for Buffy. Buffy tries to defend herself but Xander says he doesn't want to know. They all walk away.

Spike's pouring booze into his blood. Looks like he's been drinking for quite a while.

"Was it worth it?" It's Dawn, at the door of his crypt, bag slung
over her shoulder. She looks very solemn.

He looks over his shoulder, sees her. "Doesn't hurt," he says. He notices her bag. "Not planning a campout, are we?"

"No," she says. "I'm sleeping over night at Janice's. I thought
Willow and Tara might want tome time to, uh..."

He looks a little surprised, maybe a little pleased. "So the birds
are flying again, eh?" he says. He looks into his glass, and the
pain is rising up in him. "Aint' love grand," he murmurs, a little
bitter and a lot sad. He takes the glass and slumps into the
armchair. He still isn't looking at her except for a brief flick of
a glance now and then.

Dawn is still being pretty quiet. "I wanted to stop by on my way
and... you know." She looks at him; she can tell how much he's
hurting. "Everybody's pretty mad at you," she says softly.
Everybody but her, from the sound of her voice.

"Yeeah, kinda picked up on that," he says, taking a pull of the
whiskey and blood.

"You're not...gonna be coming around any more. Are you?" It's
obvious that she doesn't like this option, but understands why it might work out that way.

He starts to answer, hesitates. "It's complicated, Nibblet."

"Everybody's been saying that."

"Must be true, then."

Dawn steps into the crypt, down the step. "Was it worth it, what you did with Anya?"

He turns and looks at her, finally. He's surprised, and not in a
good way. "Buffy told you?"

"Kinda caught the show," Dawn says. His eyes widen, and she goes on. "There was a camera somewhere in the Magic Box. Warren and Jonathan and that other guy have been watching everything."

He closes his eyes, lets his head drop back onto the chair. His jaw works. "Wankers," he whispers, almost to himself.

Dawn steps into the room. "Do you love her?"

He glances at her. "Oh, no. No. It was just a ...," He pauses,
looking for a way to say it. "S' a bad day for both of us, and we just had a few drinks and things just..."

She stops him. "No. Not Anya. Buffy. Do you really love her?" He doesn't answer, but the pain on his face is answer enough. "Then how could you do that to her?" She's not mad, not yelling, she just really doesn't understand.

His lips twist bitterly for a second. "Oh, right," he says, his
voice breaking, "because Big Sis was treating me so well up until that point. Still must be a bit of the evil left in me after all." Very bitter, now.

"I don't know what happened between you two," Dawn says. staying calm, but maybe she is a little angry. "But what you did last night... If you wanted to hurt Buffy, congratulations. It worked." she turns around and leaves. He stares at his drink, his face a mask of bitter regret.

Buffy's bathroom

She's starting to run the water for a bath. She's stiff, moving
slowly, keeping a hand to her back.

"Are you hurt?" It's Spike. He steps into the bathroom. "You're
not moving so well." He sounds concerned, not mocking. He's worried about her.

"Get out." She doesn't even turn around.

"We have to talk." Quiet. Calm. Resolved.

Now she turns around, shaking her head. "I really don't."

He closes the bathroom door. "Well, this isn't just about you, as much as you'd like it to be," he says, patiently, as though to a little kid.

"You spoke; I listened. Now leave." She SO doesn't want to hear this now.

He looks at her, his heart in his eyes. "I'm sorry," he says, and
he's completely sincere. "Not that it matters any more, but I needed you to know that."

"Why?" She's very cautious, not quite believing him.

"Because I care about you."

And now the anger starts to come through, though it's tightly
controlled. "Then you might want to try the not-sleeping-with-my-friends."

Does she think he's really that stupid? "I didn't go to Anya for
that," he says. "I was looking for a spell."

That bows her back right up. Eyebrows up into the hairline, nostrils flaring, the whole bit. "You were going to use a spell on me???"

Good God, it really is all about her. "It wasn't for you...," he
says. "I wanted something." He looks at her for a second, but she doesn't seem to get it. "Anything to make these feelings stop.." The pain wells up, and his voice breaks. "I just wanted it to stop." He slumps back against the wall. Buffy's surprised by this, maybe hurt. "You should have let him kill me," he murmurs, broken. It would have been better than this...

She looks down, crosses to the tub. "I couldn't do that," she says, her voice low.

"Why?" There's a flicker of hope in his face; he looks at her,
almost afraid to ask, but he has to know.

"You know why." She won't look at him.

"Because you love me." The hope is growing. But of course she stomps on it.

"No," she says, turning off the water. "I don't."

"Why do you keep lying to yourself?" Is she really stupid enough to believe that?

"How many times d...?" She breaks off. She's determined to stay calm. "I have feelings for you. I do," she says. "But it's not
love." And then the killing blow. "I could never trust you enough
for it to be love." She means it to hurt him, and it does, of
course, but he laughs.

"Trust is for old marrieds, Buffy," he says. She really doesn't get
it. "Great love is wild and passionate and dangerous. It burns and consumes."

"Until there's nothing left," she says patiently. HE doesn't get it
either. "Love like that doesn't last."

He steps closer. "You feel like I do. You don't have to hide it any more."

She sighs. "Spike, please stop this."

He comes up to her, puts his hands on her hips. "Let yourself feel it."

"No." He's hit one of the bruises from the tombstone.

"You love me." He believes it; why can't she admit it? He tries to hold her, but she's pushing at him, fighting him.

"Oh, No. Stop it." He doesn't realize it, but he's hurting her.

"You love me." He's desperate to make her realize the truth of this, and he keeps trying to hold her.

"Spike, stop it." He grabs the front of her robe. "What are you
doing?" She twists away, loses her balance, clutches at the shower curtain, falls, cracking her ribs on the side of the tub. She slumps to the floor, wincing.

He's down there with her, trying to kiss her, trying to hold her.
"Let it go," he says, pleading. "Let yourself love me." She's still
struggling against him. "Buffy...," he says, so desperate now,
"Buffy..." He kisses her hands, her face, and he's crying now,
almost like he was when he saw her broken body at the bottom of the tower.

She keeps trying to push him off. "Spike, no, I'm hurt..." But he
doesn't hear her, he's so desperate to reach her.

"Stop..." She shoves him away, and he pushes her down on the floor, pinning her legs with his and holding her hands over her head. For a fraction of a second the pain turns into anger. Why is she fighting this so hard? Twice she almost gets away, but he catches her and pins her again.

"I know