> Mwahahaha! It will be mine! They will all be mine! *grin*
MEL: Ooo. I think we started something. Think she'll want this one too?
CHRISTY: I think we've created a MONSTER. She also might want 'We're Armed and Dangerous Now', that one was fun.
MEL: Yeah... HEY! Did you notice? Little Onna ran away while we were adjusting the frammistats on the Big Humming Energy Weapon Thingies!
MEL: *sigh* Duo... we told you time and time again that we weren't going to sic her on you.
DUO: I don't trust you guys to only use her in 'Reunion'. And besides, what about poor 'Fei?
WUFEI: That little monster kept chewing on my leg! [exhibits rather munched shin.]
MEL: Awwwwwwww! Poor baby... c'mere and I'll kiss it better.
WUFEI: Stay away from me! Hentai!
MEL: And proud of it-- oooh! oooh! Christy! That's a point! I wanna join that United Hentai Alliance thingy!
CHRISTY: Me too me too me too!
MEL: Think they'll let us in?
CHRISTY: They might, wabbit. They might.
WUFEI (mutter): those two QUALIFY all right. Sick hentai onnas.
CHRISTY: But you love it, Wufei! You're gonna get a GORGEOUS guy in 'Demon of Justice', you get Duo... eventually... in our other arc, what more do you want?!
CORD (busting through the wall half-naked and painted blue): AYE! ARE YE WITH ME?!?
CHRISTY (burying her face in Duo's shoulder): Oh gawd. Can we kill him yet? They killed him in Braveheart...
DUO (patting her head): There, there, C-chan. He doesn't do it often... it's just because Mel's boss thinks he belongs in that movie and started quoting it all over the place. I don't think Mel will let you kill him off - she likes him too much.
CHRISTY: We can't introduce her to Gladiator.
MEL: Why? Oh! No, I don't like the Braveheart guy. I like Cord. I've never SEEN Braveheart. This [waving her hand at the chaos as Cord runs past howling and waving a huge sword] is not my fault. Cross-genre contamination just kinda happens sometimes.
HEERO: Hn. I'll fix it. [takes aim]
MEL: OH NO YOU DON'T!
MEL (now clutching her plastic trident): Don't you even THINK of hitting my hunky Hibernian hradani!
HEERO (from the floor): wazzn't gonna hit 'm. waz gonna shoot 'm.
MEL: I know, but that wouldn't have alliterated. I will fix this! You keep your itchy trigger finger to yourself!
CHRISTY: Duo... she's fixing things. Hide me!
DUO: Only if I get to hide with you, C-chan!
CHRISTY: Deal. [grabs scythe. zip!]
MEL: Okay, now I just need to properly frammistat the Big Humming Thingy-- Wufei, could you give me a hand here? Wufei? OI! WUFEI! GET THAT WOAD OFF RIGHT NOW!
WUFEI: NO! FRRRRRRRRREEDOM! FRRRRRRRRRREEDOM FROM THE SASSENACH HUSSY ONNAS!
CORD: AYE! I'M WITH YE!
[Crashing noises as the two blue swordsmen take another wall down.]
MEL: Great. Now I gotta zap both of 'em.
[In the closet:]
CHRISTY: Full house, Duo. Pay up.
DUO: Oi! You cheated!
CHRISTY: I did not! Now, off with the shirt!
DUO [muttering]: at this rate, I'M gonna have to paint myself blue...
[Back in the lounge:]
MEL: Right... the frammistat is adjusted... the capacitor thingy-whatsits are all charged... it's humming... Trowa and Quatre didn't come home today (guess Q-chan had a premonition or something) so they're out of the danger zone... I'm all set. Now I just gotta get both those blue whackos on the Big Red Target. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
[A minute later:]
MEL: OI! WUSSES! BETCHA CAN'T GET ME! NYAH-NYAH-NYAAAAAAH!
[Mel is standing on the Big Red Target in front of the Humming Properly Frammistatted Energy Weapon Thingy, dressed as... er... a Hentai Sassenach Onna Hussy Writer Demon. Use your imagination.]
MEL: First I'm going to slash YOU TWO together, then--
CHRISTY (peering out of closet): WHOA! Danger, Will Robinson! We ain't coming out yet! <*click*>
[The howling blue loonies thunder down on Mel as she sits scribbling in a notebook.]
MEL: --I think Doctor J doesn't get nearly enough action, and I'm sure he thinks Wuffie is cute--
[Wufei, who was a little behind, yells in fury and pulls even with Cord.]
MEL: --and boy oh boy I really hope I frammistatted this thing right!
[Christy and Duo peer out of the closet. Christy is minus her shoes and socks; Duo is just wearing Grim Reaper boxer shorts.]
CHRISTY: Um... think it's safe? It's awful quiet...
MEL: Come on out, you guys!
[Mel is sitting on the floor, quietly patting Wufei's hair. He isn't blue any more, and Cord is nowhere to be seen.]
DUO: Um... where'd the big fuzzy-eared guy go?
MEL: Hm? Oh, he's been blown back into his fic. I got the frammistat right this time; even the woad got properly separated and smacked into Braveheart fic-space. The only unforeseen side-effect was Heero.
DUO: WHAT?! What happened to Hee-chan?!
[Mel points. Heero's lying on the floor where she dropped him with the trident... on the edge of the blast radius, slightly singed.]
MEL: I only adjusted the frammistat to save me from the effects. Ooops.
CHRISTY: Enh, he's just slightly singed... he'll be fine.
[Heero cracks open one sooty eyelid, and sees... Duo in boxers. This doesn't have the sappy effect you might expect; he leaps up and grabs Christy by the throat.]
HEERO: WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH MY DUO IN THAT CLOSET?!?!?!?!?
CHRISTY (calmly): Heero... put me down and be nice. I still haven't decided who we're giving Duo to.
[Mel whips out the video camera and starts filming for more Heero In The Throes Of Jealousy research.]